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Men’s Mental Health, Unfiltered: Reflections from Our Team
When it comes to mental health, men are often expected to stay silent — to tough it out, hold it in, and keep moving. But silence comes at a cost.
In honor of Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month, we turned the spotlight inward and asked the men on our team to share what emotional well-being means to them. The answers were honest, human, and often surprising.
In this post, we explore why emotional expression can still feel difficult for many men, how cultural norms shape that experience, and what it looks like to grow beyond those limits — one conversation at a time. Whether you’re navigating your own emotional landscape or supporting someone who is, this is a conversation worth having.
Aritz: There are many things to rethink in the area of beliefs and emotions that are socially instilled in us (I’m working on it—it’s a long journey, but it’s worth it).
One of the main beliefs that has had a big impact on me is that men have to be (emotionally) strong and can only show sad emotions over serious matters (illness, etc.). Thanks to learning more about myself and my emotions—and to a close social circle that is also committed to this—I’ve learned that many of these beliefs are very harmful, both for oneself and for others.
All feelings need to be acknowledged, managed, and expressed when needed.
Radu: I grew up believing that being a man meant being emotionally self-contained, strong, composed, and unaffected. Vulnerability wasn’t an option; if you showed pain or doubt, it meant you were weak.
Marcello: Growing up, I was taught that a “real man” had to adhere to certain behavioral and aesthetic standards that suppressed emotions and one’s true identity. Encountering queer culture helped me deconstruct this limiting mindset. True strength lies not in conforming to a standard, but in the courage to express one’s authenticity, free from gender labels.
Aritz: For me, I’ve learned to handle most of the emotions related to sadness much better. A while back (like I think many people do with a lot of unpleasant emotions), I used to just hold it in, put on a brave face, and not say anything. But that really takes a toll.
I started setting boundaries in my relationships (social, family, etc.) around actions or topics that would trigger that sadness, and I began being more open and explanatory with the people close to me who might have caused some of those emotions. That has helped me be clearer with others and with myself, while also becoming more mindful of other people’s boundaries.
Radu: Sadness. For a long time, I internalized sadness as something to hide, to swallow down and “get over.” Learning to express it, first to myself, then to people I trust, was uncomfortable at first. But that shift unlocked deeper relationships. When I started being honest about when I was sad, I found that people didn’t pull away, they leaned in. It made me feel more human, more connected. And it taught me that expressing emotion doesn’t burden others, it invites them to do the same.
Marcello: One emotion I’ve learned to manage better is the fear of appearing vulnerable. Over time, I’ve come to understand that opening up to others is not only an act of courage but also the foundation for creating authentic bonds. Learning to share my difficulties without fear of judgment has allowed me to receive support, and it has also made me a much more empathetic and present listener.
Aritz: Conversations about frustration and sadness. In my experience as a man, most of us, to varying degrees, try to hide those two kinds of emotions and what caused them, burying them under other layers (like tiredness, unexplained apathy, etc.).
I think being able to talk more openly about the roots of frustration and sadness would be incredibly helpful for better managing those feelings.
Radu: I hope they can talk openly about fear, uncertainty, and mental health without shame or stigma. I want them to feel safe saying, “I don’t have it all figured out,” or “I’m in therapy,” or even “I cried today,” and have that be received with understanding, not judgment.
Marcello: I hope future generations of men can have open conversations about topics that were often taboo, such as mental health, consent in relationships, and feminism. I hope they are more aware and critical of attitudes related to toxic masculinity, not only recognizing it as harmful to everyone but also consistently taking concrete action to create a more equitable and healthy environment.
Aritz: I want to be the kind of person that people can feel comfortable asking or speaking about anything, knowing they’ll get an honest answer (assertive, but honest). Transparency around emotions and feelings can be hard, but in the long run, it’s always better to start practicing it as soon as possible.
Radu: I want to be the kind of person who shows that emotional honesty and leadership go hand-in-hand. Someone who leads with compassion, not control. Who creates space for people to show up as they are, not who they think they need to be. Whether I’m mentoring a teammate, comforting a friend, or just showing up for a partner, I want to model that it’s okay to feel deeply and speak openly. That it’s not about having all the answers, but being present, real, and kind.
Marcello: I want to be an emotionally balanced and supportive person for others: someone calm yet resolute, open to discussion and dialogue. Someone who can be relied upon in difficult times, but also willing to question themselves and continuously grow, both personally and emotionally.
Emotional intelligence doesn’t start with fixing emotions. It starts with naming them accurately. That small act brings clarity, self-trust, and better connection with others.
Download the Emotion Wheel and start your practice today. Because when you can name what you feel, you can change how you respond.
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